Why you should overcome failure?

It is not failure that people fear. It is the perceived negative consequences that follow the failure that stresses them out. This fear can lead to lowered self-esteem, avoiding ch

Why you should overcome failure?

It is not failure that people fear. It is the perceived negative consequences that follow the failure that stresses them out. This fear can lead to lowered self-esteem, avoiding challenging tasks, being pessimistic and even cheating.

Psychologists have identified the five main things which people fear a failure will lead to:

  • Experiencing shame and embarrassment
  • Readjusting how you see yourself
  • Having an uncertain future
  • Upsetting important others
  • Important others losing interest

How to reduceThe Fear of Failure

So how to overcomefear of failure? Here are seven suggestions:

No shame policy  The most common fear of failure that young people report isthe fear of shame and embarrassment. This is seen in students who dont volunteer an answer to a question in class for fear of looking bad in front of their peers; or in athletes who play it too safe as they dont want to be the one who makes a mistake. For these people, trying is seen as not cool. Trying and failing is definitely seen as not cool. We can overcome this fear by creating an environment where failure isnt followed by laughter, ridicule and embarrassment.

Address the problem Psychologists believe that there are three ways people cope withsituations. These are Avoidant, Emotional and Problem Focused. Lets say you are worried about snakes in your garden. You could decide to never go into your garden again (avoidant focused), or convince yourself that having snakes in your back garden isnt that bad (emotion focused) or go into your garden and get rid of the snakes (problem focused).Whereas avoidant and emotional focused coping may provide a short relief, problem focused coping addresses the issue head on, allowing you to make long term gains. Dont be an ostrich and bury your head in the sand. If something is worrying you, work out how you can make it better.

Learn from your mistakes  Forty years ago, a psychologist in America studiedhow primary school students viewed an upcoming test. Some viewed it as an opportunity to see how much theyd learnt;others saw it as a chance to compare themselves to their classmates. Those who focused on their learning are called task-orientated (incidentally, this was the basis of some of Carol Dweck's early research). Creating a task orientated environment (by focusing more on individual development and less on comparison to others) should increase motivation, confidence, self-regulation, academic performance as well asreducing anxiety.

Dont bottle it up  Teams are often stronger than individuals, so if something is worrying you, talk to someone like a parent, friend, teacher or coach. These people cangiveadvice, support, or even just listen to you. Using the support available to you is one of the strategies that Olympic champions use to develop their resilience.

Question your fears  Are your fears actually irrational and highly unlikely to come true? Mark Twain once said, Ive had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." This is a great quote as it captures perfectly how many students end up worrying about the worst case scenario, often for no logical reason. Its good to reassure them that if they have put the hard work in, there is no reason to assume the worst.

Focus on what you can control  When people focus on things that they cant change, it often makes them stressed or nervous. By helping people focus on what they can control, it gives them a sense of certainty and confidence. Elite athletes, such as Tom Daley, call this being process focused, which is not focusing on the outcome (i.e. the result, which they cant control), but focusing on what they need to do (the process) to give them the best chance of success. The same applies to school  students cant control what grade they will achieve, but they can be processed focused if they concentrate on what they can control (their effort, their attitude, how organised they are).

Embrace the grey  In education and in sport, sometimes the result can paper over the cracks. Young people can think that a good grade or a win in their last competition means that everything is good. On the flip side, a poor grade or a defeat and everything seems all doom and gloom. This sort of black and white thinking can lead to stress, anxiety and fragile self-esteem. Judging yourself on your attitude, effort and what youve learned are better markers and are probably more likely to result in the good grades and wins that they so desire.

Final Thought

To recap, failure in itself isnt threatening. It is just a source of feedback on your current level. It is the negative consequences that people think will follow thatthey fear. The most common of these is the fear of shame and embarrassment. There are many techniques and strategies that can help young people overcome their fear of failure, helping them push on and realise their potential.

For even more info take a look at our pageHow to Develop a Growth Mindset, where you'll find links to blogs and research.

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