Failure precedes success.
This can be a controversial statement but if we look at successful people, each one of them has failed. Some of them were even considered huge failures and in capable of doing anything successfully. They transformed their failure into success. Success does not come to us the first time we try anything. Success is the result of our mental strength to keep going at what we desire till we get it right
When we are confronted with failure the first thing, we see are all the negatives associated with the failure and the reaction others will have with our failure. We completely overlook the benefits. If we do not look at the positive aspects of failure and if we do not change the way we look at our learnings, then our failure has the ability to destroy us
Let us examine some of the reasons we fail and how we can develop coping strategies for these failures.
We fail because we are afraid to fail
No one likes to fail. Failure paralyses us. Very often we are so afraid of failing that we are not even willing to try.
As the old saying goes, Trying and failing is better than not trying at all. We should never be afraid to try. Failure is the result of trying. Imagine a world where no one tries anything because no one wants to fail! No one will succeed. Success will come, one step at a time. Failure is not designed to set us up or to punish us.
Progress can only be made when we try. The turtle can never make progress if he does not stick his neck out. There is always a reason that justifies inaction. We must not let our fear of failure, rejection or change confine us within the boundaries of our comfort zone.
We fail because we do not plan or define our objectives and purpose clearly
If we do not have a proper plan, we are less likely to succeed in life. It does not matter whether our plan is right or complete. A plan helps us to put clear milestones so that we can evaluate our own progress.
There are many people I have met who say that the reason they want to start a business is to make money. This is a dangerous objective. Businesses need to be built because of their inherent strength. Money or valuation is an outcome of a successful business.
Similarly, we need a clear purpose. To succeed, we need to be clear about our life purpose and job purpose. On a micro level, it is good to have a purpose for the week ahead. This will help us to define a few important tasks in the next seven days.
We fail because we are afraid of making bold moves
If we want to do something different. To stand out from the others. To achieve the impossible. We have to be comfortable in being different from the others. Going with pack is not an option when it comes to looking for unique success. The advantage of going with the pack is that we will reach the same place that everyone else is in. We need to be independent and confident of our thoughts and objectives. We need to be able to accept criticism from those dearest to us. If not, we will not make it very far.
We fail because we are not persistent, and we give up too soon
We fail because we give up. Giving up automatically leads to failure. A lot of us give up before we achieve what we set out to do. We can be talented and intelligent. But if talent and intelligence are not combined with persistence, they are of no use.
This could be because of frustration, anxiety, diversion of attention or in the case of a businessmen, because of shortage of resources. Nothing comes easy. We need to keep persisting. Successful people have a strong track record of persistence behind them.
It will always be more comfortable to simply give up when the going gets tough. Giving up spares us a lot of trouble, hard work and pain. But it also takes our chance to succeed.
We fail because of a refusal to learn from our mistakes and destructive thinking
Unsuccessful people are deeply hurt by their mistakes and failures. As a result, they do everything they can to quickly forget these painful experiences. The problem with this attitude is that doing so also loses the important lessons and insights that come with these mistakes.
We cannot wish away our mistakes. They are our biggest teacher. Analyse what went wrong. Re-think the strategy. Challenge ourselves to develop a better plan for the future.
We fail because we want too much too soon, resulting in stress
We like to achieve everything very quickly, knowing well that there is no magic wand for success. Once we start out on the task, we realise how many challenges there will be and this can be very intimidating. This results in stress and the desire to abandon the task or give up. There is no harm in achieving high as long we are willing to recognise the effort that we need to put in to reach there.
No one is responsible for our stress other than ourselves. Stress kills our dreams, our happiness, our performance, and shortens our lifespan. We must learn to manage our stress by using various tools including meditation.
We fail because of a lack of humility
Humility is considered by many successful individuals as an important key to success. Some even consider it to be vital for success. Humble people are more likely to be high performers. Humility helps us to assess, realistically our strengths, weaknesses and limitations. It will also help us to realize that there are many things we do not know.
Humility could be is the missing ingredient between successful people and not so successful people. We have won a fight but we cannot claim to have become an expert in the art of war.
Remember the old line if you do not blow your own trumpet, no one else will blow it for you? I had learned this early in my life. It was a few years later that I understood the corollary to this. Do not blow your trumpet so loudly that it starts to hurt other peoples ears!Disclaimer
Views expressed above are the author's own.