Why You Want To Tell Someone They Hurt You and How To Do It
- October 27, 2021
Your feelings are hurt by someone you care about. You wonder if you should say something or if it will somehow make things worse. When done the right way there is no downside. Its important that they know in order to keep enjoying your relationship.
Ive learned that when I dont speak up Im the one who suffers. If I was feeling bad later on I feel really, really bad. With this realization I became more motivated to push past my fears and find a way to share my hurt without hurting the other person.
Heres How To Do It
- Dont say something right away. Sleep on it and you will likely feel a little better the next day.
- Write in your journal or punch a punching bag! Start writing and let it all hang out! Tell them off and dont hold back. This is for you and only you.If you dont like to journal try punching a punching bag or pillow and express your anger out loud.
- Use I not You statements. An Example is You never include me and I want to be included. This puts people off and never is a dangerous word. The better approach is I feel hurt when you dont include me. Id love to be included. This softer statement creates greater understanding and a more caring conversation.
- Be patient. It takes time for people to change their communication style. When they havent intentionally hurt you they will be motivated to watch their words.
- Speaking up may be uncomfortable and yet not speaking up sets the stage for long term emotional pain. Sounds like an easy choice to me.
- Remember the golden rule! Do onto others as you would have them do to you. You would absolutely want them to tell you if they were angry or hurt by something you said. You definitely didnt mean to me mean or intentionally hurt them.
Sometimes it isnt worth saying something. If the relationship isnt working well and generally not enjoyable then maybe its time to say good-bye. Take time to be sure its what you want to do. In the meanwhile take a break or spend less time with this person.
Its okay to hurt and its okay to tell someone they hurt you. You want to honor your feelings knowing its natural and normal to feel hurt and angry too!
Remember to respect yourself!
Professional Counselor, Business, Career and Life Coach
www.MargoGeller.comShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedIn
Are You Emotionally Attractive? Why its important. Become more by
News Alert! In addition to Business and Career Coaching I am doing Dating Coaching! I fell into dating coaching when I started working with clients
How to stop suppressing your discontent and start doing something about it
When someone says they are unhappy why dont they do something about it? As their friend you offer suggestions which seem to fall on deaf
My Life Became A Lot Better When Hint: Thats not it!
Are bad feelings necessary for a better life? I wish itwasnt true and Im also glad it is. If you always felt fine you
When You Wish Something Wasnt TrueBut It Is. What Do You Do?
You are excited about a new opportunity. Your life is going to be so much better. Then down the road you realize this too isnt